blasterixx

08:08 pm: you gotta fight for your right to par-tay
Well theres a xmas party going on downstairs...moms work party. IBM is so cheap, is the employess are gonna have a party they have to plan it and fund it themselves...enuf bout business. Claireness and mollie are sitting here....doing hw...haha stupid APEXers have so much work. i on the other hand finished it by 5. im waiting for them to finish so we can watch Posession(gwenyth paltrow and aaron eckhart). HOT sexy movie...i love it to death. they get off task VURRRY easily..quite annoying. but its fun.
HOLD ONTO YOUR BANANAS!!!
i saw the importance of being ernest w. mollie yesterdaysh. it was fun...agenon was REALLY flamboyant. it was So funny. well, the actors were a lil over the top but it was good enuf. i wanna see the movie w. COLIN FIRTH and ruppert everett. all right cya.

PEACE.

10:45 am: Wow time really flies(that the right spelling?)
Well,summers over, France is over, and high school's started. Lots has happened since then in my insignificant little life. shall we start with france? i guess so...

It was great, tho i did gain SO much wieght from all that nutella (the food REALLY sucked, so thats all we really ate). But the people i met are unforgettable.
here is the list of the delegations and wat countries theyr from. if you wanna kno more bout CISV, go to cisvdc.org . its really a great thing, you shud take a look...
so anyways, here's the list...and anyone w. a * next to them would be considered one of my closer friends

Belmont, Alsace, France. Summer Camp 2004:

Santiago,Chile:
David (leader-27y-o)
Diego*(heart)
Domi*
Felipe*
Sofi

Bogota,Colombia:
Nico(leader-24?)
Camilo*
Neydy*
Andres (heart)*
Viviana aka vivi

Haifa,Israel:
Haim (leader-22)*
Dean*
Limor
Gal
Roi

Sweden:
Phil(leader-23)**
Josephine(shes such a slut)
Per Magnus (shudder)
Sophie*
Christoffer

Bologna,Italy:
Sara(leader-25)(nico had a thing for her, but she has a bf in italy)
Alessandro aka Ale(Heart)*
Chiara*
Micol
Giovanni aka Gio aka Joe (had a thing w. vivi)*

Grenoble, France:
Sophie (leader-24?)
Valentine (had a thing w. anthony)*
Claire
Clement aka cementito*
Stephane

Austria:
Irene(serious pessimist..leader, 23)
Greta **(oh i love her SO much)
Nici(wants to strangle)
Samuel
Bruno(hot, but smelled bad, and had too active a sexlife for me)

Reyckavijk,Iceland:
Gunni(leaderm 23....he's HOT)
Arnar*
Yokull aka Chuckey
Anna ( this slut*cough* stole my felipe *cough*)
Gudrun **********(bestest friend, ill love her forever)

Wahington D.C, USA:
Darren (leader, 23)**
Chris (little odd, but SO cool)*
Anthony (nyeh..hes starting to get on my nerves nowadays)
Annalisa ** (great person...we don't have much in common, but she's still really cool)
Me, Valli


So that sums up the whole camp Except for the staff people...the most important ones are:

Nam**(the only other asian guy...he was born in korea, raised in france, how fucked up is that?)
Marco*(same story w. gim cept he's from portugal) He was the nurse at our camp, and just sucha great guy
Sami (god that is one hot man...he's 23)He's algerian, and the first muslim, Haim (israel) ever met. im the first "indian" he's ever met, and darren's the first black man he's ever met (including anthony and chris)

so these are the people i loved with for 3 weeks...sadly ive lost touch w/ them cuz i lost my address book (damn you valli!) but i still talk ot gudrun and diego a lot. only after cmap did i realize how cool diego was.

well im all camped out for today...appa's comin home thursday...and ill tlak bout hs later....

07:44 pm: summer blues
lots has happened in the last few days, i just dont care to share.
i feel like a flat blob...though i have been exercising fer a while every day...i'll never get thin, but w.e

i'm leaving for france in two weeks. from wat annalisa has told(the only other girl in me group), there is a LOT of romance that goes on in the camp. i dunno wat to do, cause i mean, i got seb...but im prolly got meet a nice norweigan boy....ol, ok maybe not. i've decided, if something does happen, and i do meet someone i like, i have my yearbook to remind me. also, this wasnt my idea. at the picnic last week, kevin takes my camcorder, and takes like 3 pics of sebastian. i was like wtf. but hey...im not complaining am i ;). so thatll help too. i'll fight every urge...i hope.
yea...im liking my group fer france less n less, now that im getting to kno them. i like annalisa the best, partly cause i kon her from before, and the first time we met, we seriously clicked. i still remember it. we talked aobut everything under the sun, and it was just...i dunno. great. out of the guys, i like anthony the best. chris is really quiet and not very outgoing. that dun really make sense,cause the ppl chosen for this are supposed to be outgoing and leaders and bs like that. oh well. he's nice...i dont think he has many friends...or at least doesnt make friends easily. our leader is ok....i just hate how he DOESN'T FUCKING LEAD. hes wayyyyyyyy to easy going, and makes us do all the work, which we're not gonna do, being immature 13-y-o's. but enough bout cisv.

i think i take seb for granted. cause when im not with him. especially knowing that he hates me, im just so sad. im cant be happy. yet when im with him, im never sure of him, and whether he really likes me or not. w.e. all this dating crap shudn't matter, right? hehe, as mark said the other day "geez, wat does it take to get you two in bed?"...apparently a lot ol. mark is the best friend on earth. he always listens to me no matter wat, and he always helps me solve my problems. w.out him, id be a nervous wreck. my zebra slave diary man(dont ask).

i remember last year i had the slightest crush on him. looking back, its kinda funny...we would have made the worst couple...i think...i shud ask him bout that sometime.

oh the dog days of summer have set in. last week was a blast. now im just sitting at home watching hindi movies....i watched kal ho naa ho today....OMFG....i cried at the end. i NEVER cry. i dont like this. i'm starting to cry more and more often these days. theres nothing to cry bout, i dont think....oh well. ok,
NCIS is starting...i kno...but i like it....prolly cause its something that my mom n i always do together. we got like a couple select shows. i love my mom...i dont care bout ppl my age hating their parents. i love my mom, and she's all i need, really....apart from mark. hehe. ok cya

09:19 pm: the last day before tomorrow
wow. school is over. we're never going back to nb...wow. im gonna miss that place. those were my best years. all those i love, they were there...

oh yeah, and mark wants me to take back all that crap i said bout him n shelley. so as of now, he still has as little of a chance as he did before ;P.

hung out w. seb fer a few hrs after the tour of wj....was much fun...hes a very interesting person to talk to. anyways

wj is a big place. theres gonna be a lot of big ppl. just....big. ok im half falling asleep tho its only like 9:20....i havent had enough sleep lately.

today was the perfect end to the year, couldnt have asked for better.

onto the deeper ranty stuff.

the way kevin put it so well: "i'm not ready to move on from here. it's like i had this imaginary list of things i wanted to get done, but i only got through half of it."

and its true. i cant quite SAY wat it is all i wanted to get done, i just dont feel like i completed everything.

yesterday, kevin and i went and set up for the last time at nb. sho shad. i'll miss that mixer. i really will.

waaah...moving on sux. all the work thats awaiting us, i wont have any time to do extra stuff, or just hang w. friends. ah well, others have made it before me, so i guess i'll survive.

everything has wrapped up, and i can be the carefree teenager i love to be for the next couple weeeks. this summer is going to kick serious a$$. ok that was so ghetto fabulous....
hehe as mike says "ga-hetto!"n shizzle ol....ok, im really sleepy now...tmrw i promise ill show you some of my poems.... piece out, we got the rest of our lives ahead of us...isnt that a great feeling?

10:12 pm: all around town
well it certainly has been an eventful 4 daysh....and ive had more brownies than im gonna want fer the next 2 years...
ok the next part iss pretty boring, even i wouldnt wanna read it. so i suggest you skip it.
so lets go in order of events:

friday night: spirit of washington...got all dressed up....wore a skirt for like the first time in a year....2 best guy friends who are usually insensitive jerks called me hot...tis a nice feeling...weird, but nice...boyfriend ignored me the whole time, but tis ok..its not like i made any effort to go talk to him....k i'll stop rambling.
basically, it wasnt worth the $60...and we shoulda just kept it to some auditorium, or some hotel ballroom. hehe.

saturday: cisv meeting...france cant wait! i was supposed to go to shelleys bday, but mom decided she needed me fer groceries instead...saw harry potter...OMFG....theyre all so HOT...i kno it sounds boy crazy and shite, but just look at them...even radcliffe dammit! i think casting is the only good thing chris columbus did w. the first 2 movies.

sunday:um....lazy and busy day, had ppl over fer lunch, had last balvikas class fer the semester...got an A on me exam, woot.
and today, monday: last day of school, had a picnic, and i just couldnt be happier right now.




allrite, the boring part's done....now onto venting.

well, all this stuf with seb, i dunno, we just take each other too literally. i think i do truly like him A LOT...i think im too young to kno wat love is...why i dunno, the reasons are countless. but one thing great about him, is that he always says the right thing at the right time. he may not notice it, or think anything of it, but it means the world to me. ok, lemme get out of lusty-love mode

mark's love life is going great...sometimes its like "screw mine, im just so happy that his is goin well"....hes been through a lot of rough stuff this year, and he deserves this chance. am so happy...jumps fer joy.

when my mother n i were walking home from hamburger hamlet(yea we live that close)she asked me today who my best friend
was...and i seriously could not answer her. i mean, i dont like to sound snobbish or popoular and shite, but i have a few select true friends from diff groups...like, each friend is diff...with mark, i tell him all my problems..with brenda, i go to fer love advice ol....with kevin, well, everything with kevin...him n i have just been thru so much together, our relationship is just so strong....ol, ok ill stop the corny shite.

it still hasnt hit me that school ended, seriously
im still in get-up-at-6:30-go-to-school mode, ya kno?
waaah...im not ready fer the year to end. it feeld like i had some sort of imaginary list, and i only got half the things done.
today during the picnic, kevin n i had to go set up the sound fer the 6th graders' silk road thingy. we had a looong talk...and it just felt so good to have someone i could talk to i person, you kno?...im so lucky to have ppl like that in my life..tho i never realized it until now. theyre fucking surrounding me.
this year has gone by so quickly, and it was a blast. i lvoed the 8th grade, and i really dont wanna move on.
and the summers gonna suck. i dunno how im gonna survive without seeing sebastian, or mark, or kevin, or mike, or mollie, or claire...all of them, everybody...even the fucking preppies who shud die, and stop taking pictures of themselves drunk and high and posting them on the net.
its an agonzing feeling., really....i just dont want any of it to change. for the first time in my life, i am truly happy with who i am right now...ok not WHO i am, but the position i'm in...ya kno? its all gonna change over the summer...and we're all gonna get split up in high school...i just want to press the pause button, and keep this stillshot of my life here forever...i dont wanna grow up dammit. ol

now that ive rante my head off, and bored you to death, i give you my humble goodbye....sooner or later ill put some of my poetry up here, but right now im too tireded.

07:13 pm: return of the thing
i've decided that i am going to begin my live journal once more. i don't know why. it's not that i'm paeticularly crazy about people seeing some* of my innermost thoughts, but i'm just avoiding studying for my math(algebra, yes i am a stupid person...but sophomore year, i'm going to take alg.2 and pre-calc so i can get ahead) exam tomorrow, and i think its time i shared my views of the world, without being afraid of criticism as it always is when i'm around people.
I should warn you now that this lj, and most to come are going to be solely about me, dwelling upon myself, so as a warning, i suggest you stop reading now.anyways, to begin.



It is now the end of the school year, and i'm not sure i'm ready for it to end. i have learned so much about myself, others, and the world this year. school is my life, literally. not just academically(tho much of wat we study in school interests/fascinates me no end..like astronomy) but also very socially. All of he people i love, excepting vishu, and some other ppl outside school.
I am happy to go to school every morning, because i know i will get to see those i love. i have FUN in school. at home im under constant stress, and i cant be myself. i think my problem is that i am VERY eager to please, but im also VERY lazy. i am the laziest person you'll meet, and i hate it, and i'm in constant denial of it, but its the truth. its one of the many things i hate about myself, but i'm too fucking lazy to change it. aargh you see wat i mean?
anyways, going on. anyways. this year, wow this year,it was amazing. i can now readily tell myself and the world that at one point, i wanted to kill myself. those were horrible times for me, and i mean eternally thankful to mark and shelley, mark especially, for being there and helping me through this. my zebra slave diary studmuffin man saved me, literally. in kno its corny, but tis true.


another thing. katie. she went into deep depression and started cutting her ankles and wat not. she came to me, because she heard i was like that, tho i was coming out of it. she's so fucking fucked up, that sometimes i just cant handle it. her fucking life was in MY hands for a whole 2-3 months. i'm only 13, and look at me, i'm enough of a flake as it is. if im not emotionally stable myself, how am i going to be her shoulder to lean. well i am glad we finally got her help. but now, as kevin has said from time to time, she is just seeking attention. i kno its not conscious, but thats how it seems. and sometimes, you just want to tell her to fuck off, shut up, and fucking deal with it. screw her chemical imbalance in her brain and all. but thats wrong, and i always fee guilty after tinking those thoughts. i just get so confused with her. i'm not a cryer, i hate crying...it shows weakness. but after getting off the phone with her, ive broken down crying so many times...its just so overwhelming. but now she's getting help...but that doesnt mean all her thoughts have gone away.

it was the same with mark. he doesn't kno it, but he was pretty depressed for a lot of this year (2nd/3rd quarters)...he would live, breathe, eat sleep for shelley, shelley, and only shelley. it ruined him as a person. and the things he would say to me...they hurt so much...and i after a while i began to question whether wat he said was intentional or not. i would lie for hours hours thinking about wat he would say, and try to understand it, and decide whether i agreed with it or not. but hes much better now. the mark i became friends with over a year ago is back, and i couldnt be happier. when others aren't happy, i cant be happy....i dunno, i guess im just a big softie.


onto sebastian. alrite, i dunno if he's gonna see this or not. i honestly dont care, because its the truth, and its his choice whether he wants to see it or not. i really like him. love him i guess. i'm techinically too young for love, but i guess i can confidently say i love im without doubt. and he's told me he loves me a few times as well, but i dunno. it seems as if i'll never be his equal. he's just so much smarter than me. he reads all these books about neo-nazism and such. he's a fricking communist, and for all the right reasons. he's quite athletic(which makes him thin...you shud kno im very self-conscious weight-wise cause im not exactly small)...the guy's got a fricking personality. he always pushes himself as far as he can go. hes in fricking geometry...and does all this extra work outside school. he's just so much...BETTER than me. and i can never live up to that. he knows it too. i just dont kno. im so fucking inferior....im always inferior to everybody, but with him, it's unbearable. but because he's just so PERFECT at everything, i cant help loving him...thats wat scares me. i don't know whether to hate him, or just be self conscious for the rest of the time i'm with him. one thing good though, is that the thought of him being better than me, pushes ME to do better in school so i can impress him...so far iT had no effect on him. and i wont deny, and i hope he doesnt he either: we both know he looks down on me. its so obvious. but i am that desperate. gosh i sound like mark. but anyways. any advice from anyone would be great.

YOU CAN SKIP THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN MY FAMILY LIFE...HEHE..then there is my father....but i guess things are pretty ok in that sector....him and i havent had any disputes so far, and hes leaving thursday...im counting down (3 days!!!). i hope we can keep balance until he leaves. when he comes, its like we're preparing to have a guest. and my parents constantly fight...tho this time its only been once a day, which is AMAZING for them. but in those fights, they throw around some of the most brutal words...and half the time, while im off in another room pretending not to listen..i cant help but agree with watever both has to say, because both are true. no one has ever told me this, and this is the first time these words have left my mouth(or fingers in this case)... i overheard this from one of their fights about a year and 1/2 ago...for most of my life, my dad has been depressed. from when he lost his job when i was 3 (he got a new one about 8 months later)...to now. for 1/2 of 5th, all of 6th, and 1/2 of 7th grades, my father was jobless....that's TWO FUCKING YEARS. its amazing wat that can do to a man living in bethesda and his family. i consider myself spoiled now...though i dont have a lot of other things kids in this area have, like ipods, bikes, a proper computer and shit like that. and i hate to ask for it. because i know how much debt we're in. i know howmuch we spend. when my father had no job, he would randomly start screaming "i'm going to leave this fucking place! i'm going to leave and never come back!" and he would drink more and more often...i doubt that he was a drunk...but i knew he drank more than he should have. i grew to fear him. and along with that fear came hate. when he went off to work in saudi, he abandoned my mother and i very suddenly...it took us awhile to adjust. but him leaving, brought us closer. i'm not saying i confide everything in my mother, but she is one of my best friends, and i couldnt live without her.sure, we fight, but thats normal. for the last 2 years, each other is all we've had. anyways, so when he comes back to visit and stuff, our routine gets so messed up. and my mother and i are under high-stress for the 2-3 weeks he's here for. i can live without my father....in some ways, i'm exactly like him...in others, i'm like my mom (my mom and dad are complete opposites)....its just so hard being around him.... every day for the last two weeks i've runaway to school to get away from him and his over-bearing presence. the man is so fucking passive aggressive. i dont need him anymore. he did his job...he gave the sperm...now he can just go away. my mother and i are fine...i dunno if a really mean this, but it IS wat i feel. OK ILL STOP NOW

it just, i just...i dont want it to end. my life is good now. for the first time, im happy, truly really happy....no thats not true. i'm not...but im in a comfortable situation. in the sense...i always have someone there. i'll leave you with this song...its kinda gay and sentimental...but this is my mood now....damn i hafta go and study now, don't i?

you shatter me your grip on me
so dull it kills you stifle me infectious sense of
hopelessness and prayers for rain i suffocatei
breathe in dirt and nowhere shines but desolate
and drab the hours all spent on killing time
again all waiting for the rain

you fracture me your hands on me touch so
plain so stale it kills you strangle me entangle
me in hopelessness and prayers for rain i
deteriorate i live in dirt and nowhere glows but
drearily and tired the hours all spent on killing
time and time again all waiting for the rain
(prayers for rain, the cure, disintegration-1989)

03:57 pm: last words
OK, I COULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT Y'ALL KNOWING SOMEFINK ABOUT ME. I STEALED THIS FROM MARK'S LJ. I DIDN'T GET INTO THE HIGH SCHOIOLS I WANTED, BTW. I'M SUCH A FUCKING SCREW UP, AS IVE BEEN TOLD TIME AND TIME AGAIN. YEAH. HERE YOU GO:

*What is your name?: Valli Nivethitha Snmugalingam (wtf were my parents thinking?)
*Are you named after anyone?: my first name after my great grandme who died the year vefore i was born.
*What's your screename?: Th3 Masqu3rad3
*Would you name a child of yours after you?: ummm....no, i dont like juniors, its not very...creative. also, it's kinda egotistic to me.
*If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:um......maybe nataraj (great grampa)
*If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: um....prolly chamari......tis a purty name.
*Are there any mispronunciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: no shit. theres so many versions of mispellings, i just gave up after a while and told them to just say it "valley" and not bother with my last.
*Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: i wanna be famous fer the right reasons, so no.


Basics
*Your gender:: female
*Straight/Gay/Bi:: straight
*Single?: yes
*If not, do you want to be?: but...but i AM single *cries*
*Birthdate:: august 9, 1990
*Your age:: 13
*Age you act:: most would say about 8
*Age you wish you were:: 28...fer some reason, the only people i look up to are around that age.
*Your height:: 5'2.5" :P
*Eye color:: dark brown, methinks
*Happy with it?: ahuh i suppose
*Hair color:: black
*Happy with it?: the color? sure. but the curls, the thickness, and the amount--NO
*Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty, but i can do things with my left hand if i forced myself to (that happens when youve had your hands on a piano)
*Your living arrangement:: normal house
*Your family:: ive disowned my father....mom, gramps is livin with us now.
*Have any pets?: none, cause me no like animals. well me likes them, but only to look at through glass and to learn about. no touchie.
*What’s your job?: student isnt a job accause you dont get paid
*Piercings?: yesh....i want a nose ring tho.
*Tattoos?: nah
*Obsessions?: ask the people who see me every day.
*Addictions?: technically you need to have tried something to be addicted to it, so nuthin.
*Do you speak another language?: yeah, tamil(from sri lanka)
*Have a favorite quote?: theres lotsa good ones----too lazy to go fish one out right now.
*Do you have a webpage?: no
*Do you live in the moment?: depends on the moment
*Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: i can't change myself fer oter people, so who am i to tell them to change fer me?
*Do you have any secrets?: too many
*Do you hate yourself?: yea
*Do you like your handwriting?: so long as its legible
*Do you have any bad habits?: the list is too long: i'm loud, annoying, stupid, unathletic, fat, annoying, clingy..wait, these are characteristics.
*What is the compliment you get from most people?: i smile/laugh all the time.
*If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: What It's Like to Be a Screw-Up
*What's your biggest fear?: biggest fear? you mean like, the thing that i worry about most or the thing that would be most traumatic to me if it happened? If its the second one, then my fear is that none of this is real. if its the first one, then will i always be so hated and looked upon as i am?
*Can you sing?: karnatic music (basically indian stuffs)
*Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: c...oo...l?
*Are you a loner?: sometimes
*What are your #1 priorities in life?: mark says:me. oh boo hoo the "politically correct" answer is something like my friends, my country, or God, but we all value ourselves most deep down at the bottom. dont we? guys? where'd you all go? i says: the fastest way to make it end.
*If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: NO
*Are you a daredevil?: if your talking about ben affleck in he red leather body suit, no....but do i take risks--yes, if theres no consequence involved.
*Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: too much
*Are you passive or aggressive?: i dunno myself well enough fer that
*Do you have a journal?: when i need to vent.
*What is your greatest strength and weakness?: i'd rather keep that info to myself *paranoia*
*If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: less self-conscious,or to be a totally different person.
*Do you think you are emotionally strong?: yes
*Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: anything ive done since day 1
*Do you think life has been good so far?: methinks, methinks...me no know wat methinks.
*What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: no one REALLY cares.
*What do you like the most about your body?: nothing....alright, my fingers i guess.
*And least?: everything, face, legs, all of it.
*Do you think you are good looking?: no
*Are you confident?: not when trying soemthing new
*What is the fictional character you are most like?: that girl named Melinda from the book "speak"
*Are you perceived wrongly?: hell yeah

Do You...
*Smoke?: do you? because if you do then im telling!
*Do drugs?: hank does...but we all know that
*Read the newspaper?: gave up on american news last year. buncha filthy liars
*Pray?: i gave that up.
*Go to church?: i was raised hindu, and right now i'm kinda deciding WAT i'm going to believe in...or rather NOT believe
*Talk to strangers who IM you?: usually
*Sleep with stuffed animals?: theres a couple hundred. wait.........i mean no *looks around nervously*
*Take walks in the rain?: is it's warm enough
*Talk to people even though you hate them?: I talk to people who piss me off, yeah
*Drive?: i can, but not legally, of course
*Like to drive fast?: depends on the situation

Would or Have You Ever?
*Liked your voice?: no
*Hurt yourself?: on purpose? ill let you figure that out fer yourself
*Been out of the country?: not enough times (about 7/8 i think)
*Eaten something that made other people sick?: elementary school lunch was so fun.......
*Been in love?: theres no such thing
*Done drugs?: no!
*Gone skinny dipping?: no
*Had a medical emergency?: no, wait. when i was a toddleri stuck a bobby pin in my ear and almost went deaf. and before that, i stuck 2 m&m's up my nostrils when my babysitter turned away fer a sec.
*Had surgery?: no
*Ran away from home?: almost
*Played strip poker?: no
*Gotten beaten up?: no
*Beaten someone up?: no
*Been picked on?: and it keeps on going....
*Been on stage?: yeah
*Slept outdoors?: yes
*Thought about suicide?: again, ill let you answer that
*Pulled an all nighter?: several times, but i never stayed up for 24 hours straight.
*If yes, what is your record?: 6:30 AM
*Gone one day without food?: on the weekends when i'm too busy to eat
*Talked on the phone all night?: no, but i have on AIM
*Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: yeah--no big deal...he's a good freind of mine.
*Slept all day?: no
*Killed someone?: not yet *shifty eyes*
*Made out with a stranger?: NO
*Had sex with a stranger?: NO!
*Thought you're going crazy?: no
*Kissed the same sex?: NO
*Done anything sexual with the same sex?: NO!!!!!
*Been betrayed?: haven't had enough relations to be betrayed
*Had a dream that came true?: no, my dreams are odd and rnadom
*Broken the law?: OKAY I ADMIT IT! I STOLE THAT LITTLE TUBE OF CHAPSTICK FROM BLOCKBUSTER WHEN I WAS 8!!!!
*Met a famous person?: no one that i consider famous. i might have tho
*Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no
*On purpose?: well it didnt die
*Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: ask who told me the secret
*Stolen anything?: maybe i stole a crunch bar with that chapstick
*Been on radio/tv?: yes
*Been in a mosh-pit?: no
*Had a nervous breakdown?: no..i'm not THAT stressed..ok maybe i am....
*Bungee jumped?: on the list of things to do
*Had a dream that kept coming back?: recurring dreams!!! ahhh! *faints*

Beliefs
*Believe in life on other planets?: duh
*Miracles?: no, just fate
*Astrology?: it's wat got my parents married, so NO
*Magic?: i dont think this should even be a question
*God?: i'm in-between right now.
*Satan?: Yes
*Santa?: the guy who eats my cookies?...if he exists, he MUST DIE!!!*Luck?: (see miracles)
*Love at first sight?: like i sadi: no fucking thing
*Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: duh
*Witches?: See magic
*Easter bunny?: mak said:poor peter, every year he gets raped by the easter bunny. i says: (see santa)
*Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: no, man is not that strong
*Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: mark says:no. however, those pot sightings are not false alarms, folks. the CIA has reason to believe that the irish have secret espionage headquarters hidden inside said pots.i says: are YOU over the rainbow?
*Do you wish on stars?: no

Deep Theological Questions
*Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: no
*Do you think God has a gender?: i don't think God (thank god i'm an athiest--my best oxymoron)
*Do you believe in organized religion?: yes
*Where do you think we go when we die?: wherever we didn't get around to going when we were alive

Friends
*Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: one
*Who is your best friend?: friends?...i guess myself
*Who's the one person that knows most about you?: mark/shelley
*What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: i forget it the moment i put it to use.
*Your favorite inside joke?: whichever one was most recent
*Thing you're picked on most about?: me being me...wat do YOU think?
*Who's your longest known friend?: vishu, and aditya
*Newest?: uh....., umm......rafi norberg?
*Shyest?: ellie
*Funniest?: mollie, or uh, cameron
*Sweetest?: bojana
*Closest?: mark, probably. i dont have any uber close friends.
*Weirdest?: thats gotta be vishu. shes weird in a very wierd way, if that makes sense
*Smartest?: well i hang out with the smart people, so i dunno
*Ditziest?: hmmm....krissie methinks...i dont hang out with ditzy people.
*Friends you miss being close to the most?: anna, definitely
*Last person you talked to online?: sebastian
*Who do you talk to most online?: mark, krissie, seb, mike and uh mollie when shes there
*Who are you on the phone with most?: well seeing as im afraid of the phone and prefer to communicate without using my voice, i get eh calls from krissie usually
*Who do you trust most?: no one.....maybe vishu cuz of the distance
*Who listens to your problems?: mark and mr.diary
*Who do you fight most with?: christina
*Who's the nicest?: shelley
*Who's the most outgoing?: krissie
*Who's the best singer?: shelley and mollie (haha, she has the WORST voise)
*Who's on your shit-list?: if i say who, ill get in deep shit (hence the "shit list"
*Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: well duh, anyone ive ever been attracted to was a pretty good friend before i liked them
*Who's your second family?: i dont know how to respond to this question without hurting its feelings
*Do you always feel understood?: hardly ever
*Who's the loudest friend?: krissie
*Do you trust others easily?: actually I do, then I regret I tolds them anything when they go blab it
*Who's house were you last at?: uh...claires or mollies
*Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:: shelley and mark
*Do your friends know you?: they know one side of me. the other will scare them away
*Friend that lives farthest away:: vishu.
Love and All That
*Do you consider love a mistake?: duh
*What do you find romantic?: ...nothing. If youre asking me that then you REALLY don’t know me
*Turn-on?: my turn-ons include.........wat i see in a guy when i like him
*Turn-off?: my turn-offs include.......women
*First kiss?: haven’t had it
*If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: i've made the mistake of dating them twice. i am no longer gonna be nice about it anymore.
*Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: i'm very picky
*Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: back when i was little and thought i had a chance with love i did
*Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: if you mean where they, like distorted, no.....but i dun fall fer wat you would call "hunks" either
*Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: NO
*What is best about the opposite sex?: they're so much easier to deal with. just make a sex joke, and your cool according to emi
*What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: they fous on sex a lot
*What's the last present someone gave you?: pre...sent?
*Are you in love?: yes (if it exists)
*Do you consider your significant other hot?: Im single. if you mean the guy i like, then yeah

Who Was the Last Person...
*That haunted you?: mike....he comes up behind me randomly and scares me...ALL the time. It's SO fucking annoying. he KNOWS i dun like him back, so why does he hafta flirt?
*You wanted to kill?: last person who has hurt someone i love, or done somehing strupoid.
*That you laughed at?: cyrus
*That laughed at you?: sebastian
*That turned you on?: *blank stare* WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK!?!?!
*You went shopping with?: I don’t go shopping. I’m Valli! but i think mollie.
*That broke your heart?: ahh, i dun have a heart
*To disappoint you?: i'm the one that does the disappointing
*To ask you out?: mike radack
*To make you cry?: the ppl who accept you into magnet/ib high schools
*To brighten up your day?: the person i like
*That you thought about?: the person i like
*You saw a movie with?: katie with bennie, ann marie with rafi, me with mike, and claire and ryan comin solo
*You talked to on the phone?: vishu
*You talked to through IM/ICQ?: think
*You saw?: vishu and sahana
*You lost?: the hell?

Right This Moment...
*Are you going out?: ....STOP RUBBING IT IN MY FACE!
*Will it be with your significant other?: im SINGLE
*Or some random person?: no!
*What are you wearing right now?: jeans that are frayed at the bottom, a black cami (i know i know, big step fer me), and my blue plaid shirt all buttoned up on top of that.
*Body part you're touching right now:: keyboard
*What are you worried about right now?: what am i gonna do if i didn't get into any decnt hs programs?
*What book are you reading?: im supposed to be reading jane eyre, diary:a novel, and send me down a miracle at once
*What's on your mousepad?: its white
*Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: stupid, like crying, scared, suicidal
*Are you bored?: no
*Are you tired?: yes
*Are you talking to anyone online?: no
*Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
*Are you lonely or content?: lonely
*Are you listening to music?: yeah

GEEZ THAT WAS LONG. WELL, NOW YA KNOW ME A LITTLE BETTER. SO LONG. IF I DIE BEFORE YOU MEET ME, DON'T REGRET IT...I'M NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

10:50 am: goodbye
hi everyones

i think i'm gonna stop using an lj, cuz i realize that people that i dun want to see, see this, and i really don't want the whole world knowing the few ditzy thoughts i have (its bad fer my image). i have mark and krissie fer those things. i guess ill stop here, and goodbye.

if ya wanna reach me, my AIM sn is th3 masqu3rad3

i'm thinking of getting an msn one as well, so when i do, ill get back to ya.

01:50 pm: you people
whoever posted those comments: thanks, but i'm talking about my OTHER ex. the one i broke up with 3 weeks ago, not the one on wednesday. i recognize the conceot of dating, it just doesn't recgnize me. this is SO true. but i dun think i wanna date fer a while. wait a month maybe. i feel like a tramp and everyone says i am, but i'm FUCKING NOT. wat, you think i went out with either guys fer sex? I'M FUCKING 13. And anyways, you know the situation i was in when mike asked me out. and peter,well, no offense to him,but screw peter. hes an ok guy, but i have no feelings fer him watsoever. and mike, hes like a bro to me, and thats how we're supposed to be, not bf/gf. i REALLY don't like to date guys much. y'all might think i do it a lot, but i'm actually VERY selective with who i like. i dun fall fer just anyone, and thas prolly wat your thinking. i just really wanna take a break and concentrate on school and and stuff. LOVE FUCKING SUX. ALSO, THERE IS NO FUCKING THING. ALL THERE IS IS HUMAN ATTRACTION, CREATED BY EVOLUTION TO TORTURE US. Or, is ya wanna see it spiritually, its just karma at work.

03:29 pm: more chaos
i don't like love. all it brings is pain and heart ache. so one of my best guy friends asks me out last thursday. i don't like him that way that much, but there about thirty ppl who were our friends watching us, so i couldn't say no. i broke it off on wed. cuz it was getting really serious, plus, i like my ex's best friend. and shh.....he told me he liked me back cuz he found out, but i don't believe him, because for, i have self esteem issues, and 2, i always got the impression thathe hated me. today in spanish/lunch he didn't even look at me, whereas i'm ms.obvious, and constantly staring at him. i dunno wat to do. i think i wana be single, cuz i just broke up with mike, and peter was 2 weeks before that.
ack
this sux....any help from you guys?

03:37 pm: life---a dangerous word
aiight, all is chaos

i really have forgotten about peter.
really
but its this other guy
ive never admitted itto anyone
but ive liked this guy since before i knew peter
but hes in love with this other girl
plus he hates me
and then one of my best friends wants to ask me out
and i dunno wat to do
i love him too much to hurt him
i don't know
plus i have this shitload of work to do for school
i'm so stressed out
i guess i shud go with him
cause i do sort of like him
and the "mermaid" as i will refer to him from now on will nevr like me.
i guess i should leave it up to fate
(i'm still deciding whether i belive in god or not)

aiight piece for now.

03:46 pm: creepy stuff
i swear, this is really weird.
all right, so my best friend went through a really rough time with her break up and all. but i have this feeling she started a trend.
first it was her and the guy she was with
then it was another freind of ours, and the guy SHE was with(who happened to be the first guy's best friend)
then it was my ex and i, tho we're both kinda glad we did it
and now its a friedn of mine. these two are really close friends of mine, and the guy did it.
i really dun care about this dating stuff, but when 3 good friends of mine get hurtm it gets personal
so all ye to the god of realtionships.......stop this before more get hurt!.....
yeah
I WILL GET STRAIGHT A'S ....IF I DON'T, SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ME.

03:32 pm: clear it all up
all right you ppl, its not wat you think. so we broke up. who cares? it was nothing inthe first place. i'm honestly saying that i don't like him anymore, all right? and don't tell anyone cuz well, its not anyone's business but ours. i know my last entry was all depressed and all, but it wasn't exactly about him. it was about other stuff like my parents. believe me, he's the LEAST of ,my worries. anyways, thats it for now. thought i'd get that cleared up. I AM NOT SAD.....I'M ACTUALLY ENJOYING SINGLE LIFE.....and i'm not in denial either. all right? you hafta believe me. i seriously thought it over while i was watching CNN for the virginia-tenessee primary results. (i'm a political dork.....love it or hate it)
piece,
the black tiger

if you wanna know wat a black tiger is: www.tamileelam.org
...i think you'll find it there. if not, nevermind

03:31 pm: no
he's gone...i dunno wat to do anymore.fuck.may as well just go kill myself.

03:25 pm: we shall survive!
i will survive, i will survive!.......*hums along while jumping around all over room*...hmph, good song. anyways.......the weirdest thing just happened. this guy that likes my best friend said he liked me for about a week a coupls months ago. look a the convo:

ANONYMOUS: u no when u asked if i liked ne1 else b4 *MY BEST FRIEND*?
th3 masqu3rad3: yesh *THIS OTHER GIRL*
ANONYMOUS: well, i kinda used to like u for a while...
ANONYMOUS: lol
ANONYMOUS: hello?
th3 masqu3rad3: hi.....um.....when?
ANONYMOUS: lol
ANONYMOUS: like, i guess a month ago
th3 masqu3rad3: o
th3 masqu3rad3: ok
th3 masqu3rad3: how long tho.......
th3 masqu3rad3: cuz i thought you liked *MY BEST FRIEND* for a while
ANONYMOUS: for a week
th3 masqu3rad3: OL
th3 masqu3rad3: sry
th3 masqu3rad3: thas funny
ANONYMOUS: 's ok
th3 masqu3rad3: anyways

th3masqu3rad3 is me, btw.....in case your wondering...thas my AIMsn....

but this is really weird, cuz well...i just met the guy. i dun even talk to him at school. i mean REALLY.....iits flattering, but.....he likes my best friend, who keeps blowing him off, which i find kinda mean. but, but.....wow.....this is weird....i'm gonna go ponder now....wif claire, obviously.

03:32 pm: venting
all right. all of this is in tamil but i can't write in it for my life(its butcheredm sped tamil)(plus this isn't how i talk, this is prissy tamil).it looks/sounds horrible in english letters.ill prolly be throwing in some english words i dunno.i prolly threw in some spanish too.
En sinaitheekals neduhalum ithu chairathu. enakku antha podeean nalla viruppam, anaal matta aakal irukkinam. see, ennattai or sinaeithi erukkirar. averukku ELLAAM therium ennai petti. ennakku theriaathu eppadi athu, anaal aver thaan en unmai sinaeithi. Apart from intha matta pun, Shelley, Mark is the oru manasan que en therium. ennakku theriathu, anaal, me encanta antha podeean. of course, me encanta my viejo, pero naangal oru nallum kathaikkurailai(geez, that is serious tamil slang). ithu kana neram eddukthu. yo no se, anaal, i hope oru naal, naan Mark chollalaam(more slang). Se has to therium. OK, THIS IS TAKING WAY TOO FUCKING LONG. LOVE IS HOPELESS, LIFE IS HOPELESS, I AM HOPELESS. AND THE ONES WHO I NEED TO TELL I LOVE, I CAN'T.THESE ARE THE ONES I LOVE: !@#$$%^, !@#$,!@#$%^&*(, !@#$%, !@#$%^&, in that order

03:24 pm: woes
all right. so me and !@#$% (you really dont need to know who he is) have been going out for wat, like 4 months right? i really dont like to sound all bitchy and stuff, but i don't know. i mean, i like him (i don't belive in love) but he dun even talk to me. hes prolly the only person i get nervous and "self concious" around. so when i get ready to go talk to him and wat not, i chicken....i so damn nervous. i need a cure for this. plus, his friends dont help either....theyre kinda scary.......i mean, well.....i dunno....they seem very SUPERIOR. and i worry about wat they think of me.....hawd i sound like a ditz. but the weird thing is, !@#$% is the only guy ive never considered really as a friend, cuz from the beginning it was really awkward with us, since he was going out with *&^%$#@!*. you prolly dun give a shit about my woes, but i need to vent. anyways, my grades are shitty, my friends are all, well gone except for a couple, and i dunno. this always happens in the winter. i hate hate hate wat winter does to me. i just hate me. why does life always have to be so hard? i dont even have that many problems compared to mos ppl. *cries at own pathetic-ness*

09:43 pm: I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!! BUT NOT JELLY(snicker snicker)!


[Nicknames] vallu, vallerina, vallsta-da-gangsta, valli-duck
[Screen name] sainsomniator99, and many more
[Birthday] 8/9/90
[Age] 13
[Astrological sign?] leo
[Chinese zodiac sign?] horse
[Location] usa, but i'd rather be on mars
[Sexual Preference] male
[Marital Status] attached, but i never wanna marry
[Religion] raised hindu, but turned atheist
[Eye color] dark brown (wish it was red or green)
[Height] 5 feet 2.5 inches (not gonna grow much more)
[Shoe size] women, 8, i think?
[Parents still together?] yes
[Siblings?] nope
[Nieces/Nephews?] nope
[Kids of your own?] narf
[Pets?] No, allergic to any pet worth having
[In school/graduated?] 8th
[Rent, lease, or own your home?] we own it, but its inherited
[Have any credit cards?] narf
[What do you drive?] whatever i can get my hands on (i wish to drive a lexus SC430 convertible and such)

=Preferences=
Favorites
[Color] many,can't choose right now
[Number]9....always has been, always will be
[Animal] black raven
[Vehicle] that lexus, and anyfink germanm really
[Flower] marigolds(dun ask why)
[Scent] make my nose sniffl...prolly fresh air...nofink better than that
[Shape] any kind of prism
[Drinks] i swear i have prescription caffine......orange juice
[Soda] bovanto(its this soda that you cn ONLY getin madurai, india, off of one of those street carts)
[Book] sweetblood, speak, you don't know me, and to kill a mockingbird
[Bands] many:linkin park, 3doorsdown, godsmack, and oh yesh....PAPA ROACH
[Songs] pinch me, closing time, i am the highway, imaginary, in the end, theres a lot more, just can't think of em
=Do you...=
[Color your hair?] no
[Twirl your hair?] no
[Have tattoos?] no
[Piercings?] yeah...
[Cheat on tests/homework?] a couple of times
[Drink/Smoke?] No
[Like roller coasters?] YESH!!!!!!!!
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] no, well, depends where
[Want more piercings?] YESH
[Like cleaning?] uh no
[Write in cursive or print?] print
[Carry a donor card?] no
[Swear a lot?] it depends who im around. take now for instance. i'm in front of the whole world. fuck shit.
[Own a web cam?] narf
[Know how to drive?] yes, but i'm waiting for my fake liscense to come
[Diet?] never...do i look like i diet?
[Own a cell phone?] yeah, but its about as old as you are
[Ever get off the damn computer?] i rarely get on
[Habla Espanol?] un poco.....i'm learning

=Have you ever...=
[Gotten a speeding ticket?] narf
[DUI?] nope(wtf is that?)
[Been in a wreck?] yeah
[Been arrested?] narf
[Been in a fist fight?] i really think violence is the key trait of stupidity, but there are entertaining and frightening (true) stories i have about this
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] yesh......but only cuz they deserved it
[Stolen anything?] shhhhhh! i think i stole chapstick when i was 8....
[Held a gun?] nah. i find it pathetic how guns are so much more powerful than man, yet man created them.
[Drank?] yes, but they mostly taste like crap
[Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?] no
[Considered a life of crime?] dont get me started, no
[Considered being a rent boy?] The hell is that?
[Cheated on someone?] theres no one to cheat with
[Been married?] no
[Cried over a girl?] no
[Cried over a boy?] no
[Lied to someone?] yes
[Been in love?] i dont beleive in true love
[Fallen for your best friend?] yeah, but that was my best guy friend at the time...i think hes gay now
[Made out with JUST a friend?] no, ive never made out
[Been rejected?] yes, twice
[Been in lust?] tis a scary feeling...nah. no offense, but the guys i like aren't exactly heartthrobs
[Used someone?] probably have. ask the person that was used
[Been used?]too many times
[Been cheated on?] prolly....i just dunno it yet
[Been kissed?] OKAY stop rubbing it in my face!
[Experimented with homosexuality?] no, its unnatural. but if you are homosextual, good for you.

=Now=
[Current mood] on fire, wait no thats a physical state. depressed
[Current music] audio slave
[Current taste] nah
[Current hair] black, curly, too long....must...shave...head!
[Current annoyance] lemmings of any kind (ghetto, preppie, etc...)
[Current smell] "pine fresh" (don't ask)
[Current thing I ought to be doing] rejoicing life?
[Current windows open] buddy list, IM wondows, email, and some pop up
[Current desktop picture] some dell advertisment
[Current book] keeper of the night
[Current cd in stereo] uhh evanescence? (hey, i had friends, over, ok?)
[Current crush] i dislike the word, and you know who you are
[Current favorite celeb] mariska hargitay (law & order svu)
[Current hate] myself
[Current job] the perfect child, but i quit a couple years ago

=The last time=
[Last book you read] faultline
[Last movie you saw] matchstick men (it sucked)
[Last thing you had to drink] orange juice (duh)
[Last thing you ate] noooooooooodles!
[Last person you talked to on the phone] krissie
[Do drugs?] hell no
[Have a dream that keeps coming back?] yeah, and they aint pretty.
[Play an instrument?] piano....my litle escape
[Believe there is life on other planets?] yes, and i hope they are more primitive than us
[Remember your first love?] yump (yump is yes narf is no, patent pending, lol)....but do they have to count?
[Still love him/her?] *awkward moment*...NO
[Read the newspaper?] as much as possible....more like watch bbc news
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] theyll all eventually turn gay/lesbo. i just know it.
[Believe in miracles?] no, just fate
[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?] no. humans aren't strong enough for that
[Consider yourself tolerant of others?] to a ceratin extent
[Consider love a mistake?] no, just an experience.....and i have none
[Have a favorite candy?] NOTHING thats sugar coated (ugh)
[Believe in astrology?] er, its wat made my parents get married...so NO
[Believe in magic?] i would like to, but no
[Believe in God?] nope
[Do well in school?] yeah
[Go to or plan to go to college] if i get in
[Wear hats?] if i haven;t lost them by then
[Hate yourself?] ......wat do yo think? (yesh)
[Have an obsession?] not currently
[Have a secret crush?] i SAID i dont like that word
[Collect anything?] keychains......don't ask
[Have a best friend?] uhh
[Close friends?] some
[Like your handwriting?] i can read it, if thats wat you mean
[Care about looks?] shit no.....well, maybe

=Love life=
[First crush] i'll let you guess: it was end of 6th grade, and half of 7th
[First kiss] ...just shut up
[Single or attached?] attached....?
[Ever been in love?] yes maybe....but theres still no such thing
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] wat did i just say?
[Do you believe in "the one?"] no
[Describe your ideal significant other] theres no such thing.....i shall never have a proper significant other


Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: law & order background music
(2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 2oth, 2003
9:23 pm hurrs some of me and mark
a tiny sample of us talking about bush and related stuff:
sainsomniator99: peter jennings aint to blame
sainsomniator99: its the guy who wrote the script
sainsomniator99: i'm gonna study the credits next time, and send a bomb to the guy who writes scripts
MithrilWorm: get rid of taliban
MithrilWorm: good
MithrilWorm: get rid of saddam
MithrilWorm: good
MithrilWorm: steal oil
MithrilWorm: bad
MithrilWorm: but has he found any yet?
MithrilWorm: no
sainsomniator99: yes he has
sainsomniator99: fucking haliburton
sainsomniator99: dick is in full control of it
MithrilWorm: i fully support war in iraq and afghanistan
MithrilWorm: and i say iran should be next
MithrilWorm: then syria
MithrilWorm: but i think his medical bill sucks ass
MithrilWorm: $400 billion could be spent on more important things than old people or arabs
sainsomniator99: thats exactly wat i'm saying,...he needs to solve probs here at home
sainsomniator99: when hes done w/ that he can go and screw around w/ the world all he wants
MithrilWorm: he only got elected because of the green party
MithrilWorm: if the people who voted for green party didnt have the green party to vote for
MithrilWorm: then they would have voted for gore
MithrilWorm: bush cant change now
MithrilWorm: he already rejected the pollution bill
sainsomniator99: gore won in the end
MithrilWorm: he cant spend money on the most important issues according to the persona he made for himself:
sainsomniator99: thats my damned point
MithrilWorm: anti-missiles, space exploration & colonization, artifical electromagnetic shields
MithrilWorm: less money on education
MithrilWorm: its just buying rulers that us kids steal in the end
MithrilWorm: money on sabotaging russia and china, now thats money well spent
sainsomniator99: he can do w/e the fuck he wants, as long as he aint using our tax money
sainsomniator99: right now hes using nour tax money, and thats pissing me off
sainsomniator99: its not well spent
sainsomniator99: he LIED to us
sainsomniator99: we're STILL looking for wmd

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
mark's thoughts:
haha!i'm finally in control of valli's thoughts!i've waited about 3 seconds for this! now what should i make her think?....geeez, mark's handwriting is bad. josh wants to know if ours teacher's bf is "dreamy". mark's pass says "jazzhole". john was poking my.....i mean me.i wonder where babies come form.......mark says girls come from venus, and boys come from mars, and cosmos are from...nobody knows. i wonder wat venus is like.he peeped he peeped!!!he peeped! he peeked! huh?what did he peek at? who's he? what GENDER is he?oh yeah, hes a bi. where am i? maybe i should wear orange. chick flick! i like to reapeat things.boo! you are evil my friend.chess chess chess chest! oops....chick flick. oh here comes the seizure. gotta wait till the viagra kicks in. wait, why did i take viagra? chick flick!i'm sorry. i wasn't listening. i like to repeat things. stop eye-raping me!chowder-full. lemon curry?hey, wait. do i smell burning rubber?......oh yeah.....that mark is hot. mark is hot. mark is hot. chick flick! i'm sorry i wasn't listening.johnny depp! orlando bloom! mark foley! theo!....aaaaaaah! AJ says cheese-eating monkeys. snickers!chick flick. halloween! dud, i HAVE to shave my legs!!!i like to repeat things. mark can do strange things.....strange indeed...but only on wednesdays......hey! you used to be cool! FAIRIES!sack-o-pills.i like men...and women...valli's thoughts.
AN INCREDIBLY ODD FRIEND OF MINE WROTE THIS IN OCTOBER.....THIS IS ONLY A SMALL LOOK AT THE KIND OF PEOPLE I TALK TO AN A DAILY BASIS.

All right, so i don't have a life. Can you blame me? i live in effing BETHESDA, maryland. its pretty boring around here unless you like cspan and politics(which IS a fettish of mine, as you can see)

ok, so its, wat? january?
yeah, mark's last comment was to make more entries so here i am. has anyone seen peter pan? if you haven't, DO SO!
anyone remember spin-the-bottle at lunch? don't y'all find it kinda ODD that a bunch of guys were playing spin the bottle.....?hmph
anyways. i'm never online, but my new sn is th3 masqu3rad3.....if your smart, youll figure it out.
um.........if your a 400-pound, 50-year-old guy, go away and leave me alone. i know about you creeps; watch out, i bite.